Are you ready?
This is the newest addition on my Web site. I have to admit, it is an interesting topic. In the Webster's dictionary, courtship is defined as "woo" - to try to get the love of a given person; to seek as a spouse.
I started down this road at the age of 20, with my first ex-fiancee. I was in the Lord, but I was still mature. We were together for 2 1/2 years (off and on) and I knew I wanted to marry her. Yet, the Lord told me 'No.'
I was hurt, but He told me He had someone better for me. That was my first real experience with wooing, or courtship. The next episode was a few years later when I met my other ex-fiancee at a retreat. I talked to her and
I was attracted, but I know the Lord doesn't work simply on that. So, I asked the Lord (after the retreat director prodded me) if she was my wife. Sure enough, He gave me an awesome peace. So, I told a few people, but I was like this -
if she is from the Lord, and I found her, what else should I do? Well, I courted her. And the Lord blessed us. We started attended a few marriage counseling sessions and I romanced her. However, she decided she was not supposed to be
in this relationship and she told me the Lord didn't want her in it. So, she left it. I had my heart hurt so bad. I have never, EVER suffered that much hurt before. So, I have moved on and the Lord has blessed me with a lot of stuff about
relationships and courtship.
These are the things the Lord showed me about courtship.
Get married to the Lord
Before you can call yourself someone's spouse, you have to be married to the Lord. If you are saved (wanna find out? click here!) you are the bride of Christ. Male or female, you have an obligation to develop your walk with Christ.
You and Jesus have a relationship. You have to seek Him (call Him), communicate and spend quality time with Him. If you neglect that now, how are you going to be able to relate to your spouse? And, once you do that, you are on your way to an awesome marriage.
Leave and Cleave...
The Scripture states, "Shall a man LEAVE his mother and father and CLEAVE to his wife." Once you are at this stage, it's no more grabbing meals at mom and dad's, no more 'mom, wash my clothes!' or staying with your parents. You are LEAVING your parents' authority. They may help you from time
to time, but you are depending on the Lord and your spouse. Are you ready to give up your freedom, your privileges with mom and dad and half of your time to be with your spouse? If not, if you can't leave, if you are not financially able to leave, wait on the Lord.
Consider these facts and questions
Courtship most of the time will lead to marriage. Are you ready now to be someone's spouse? If not, why court?
Flesh has no place at all in a courtship - is your relationship reflecting Christ? (Eph. 5:25)
Wait on the Lord - Men, don't seek unless you are ready to get married. (Prov. 18:22) Women: We will FIND you. I know of several nice women that would make good wives, but they need to get lost.
Would the Lord be glorified with you and your loved one during your courtship?
Not in a relationship? Develop your personal relationship. There is a time and season for everything. (Ecc. 3:1)
What is your real reason for courtship? Are you courting because your friends are or are you seeking a spouse?
Lastly, are you in a position for the Lord to guide you? Are you remaining abstinent in your relationship?
If you have any questions, comments, feel free to e-mail me. Click here and ask away. Be advised - this is what the Lord showed me and it does line up with His Word. What He tells you may be slightly different, but it won't contradict His Word!
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